You know that you are a better supporter than a player when…
Your place is in the stands. Or in front of the telly. Because you’re not as good as the ones who are on the pitch, of course, but not only. You know that you’re a better supporter than a player when…
… you can’t picture football without beer. However, it’s easier to scream really loud rather than multiplying sprints after four pints.
… you believe that the referee pays more attention to the noises coming from the stands than the ones coming from the players. And influencing his decisions is essential.
… you refuse to shake hands with your opponent.
… you stop running when your mate Kevin nutmegs a defender when you’re playing five-a-side.
… you rock the vuvuzela like no one else.
… you prefer writing messages on a banner rather than tweeting them.
… you prefer screaming into a megaphone rather than whispering behind your hand.
… you prefer inventing new chants rather than new tricks.
… you specialize in mimicking animals.
… you’d love to go back in time and kill the person who invented transfers. Changing teams, what a shame!
… you love to dance. And not only after scoring a goal.
… you hate running.
… you’re unable to wait for the shower to celebrate a win.
… you actually believe that with a little bit of practice, you could break that man’s record.
… you’ve always dreamt of a career as a make-up artist.
… instead, you own a fancy dress shop.
… the hats that you wear every weekend wouldn’t be accepted by the referee.
… and neither would be the juju, this magical plant which keeps away the demons from the pitch, that you keep in your pocket.
… at any given moment, you put yourself in a state which would deserve an immediate red card.
… football boots give you blisters.
… you don’t clap for a miss-timed pass. Unlike footballers.
… you like to spend the majority of the match with your back facing the pitch to watch your friends in the stands and support them.
… you don’t understand how anyone would swap shirts with the opponent.
… you consider warm-down sessions to be a form of torture.
… you’re over 35.
… you’re addicted to online betting.
… you’re allergic to grass.